Sunday, June 21, 2015

In approximately 7 years time

I want to live in a cozy little apartment, white walls, pale blue ceiling, every item handpicked, hopefully with stories behind them. My kitchen's countertop will be made out of fine quartz in the colour 'rain cloud', with wooden stools standing next to it. The kitchen will be my second most favourite spot in my little home. Because that is where I would make great avocado juice and banana milkshakes, preferably blended with almonds. The place where I would cook an egg and throw in a slice of cheese just so I can tell my family I cooked a cheesy omelette that day. The corner of my second favourite spot will probably be stacked with tons of pizza boxes from Domino's. Because I can't cook for nuts and their pizzas are so damn good. I hope by then I am not the only inhabitant in my little home. Maybe there will be two glasses of juice or milkshakes in the morning. Two 'cheesy omelettes'. Two disposable plates for the pizzas. Two wooden stools. Who knows?

My favourite spot will definitely be by the window, so the sunlight can peer through the big glass window and dance around the walls in the day. There would be lots of fluffy black pillows on the little platform I'll be sitting or lying down on a lot. Better black than white because I will hands down, without a doubt spill or drop something that I'm consuming there. Two big bookshelves will surround that spot, facing one another on both ends, as if they're guarding the window. There will be books. Lots and lots and lots of books. Whether I'm feeling sad or lonely or angry or happy I know I'll be there.

(fingers crossed)

Monday, June 8, 2015

Lone wolf


For years, you learnt companionship and dependence, love thy goddamn neighbour, the importance of always having someone by your side. Slowly you start turning into an enemy of solitude, dreading the stillness of your sheets and the tumultuous silence of the night.

I hope you befriend yourself. I hope you'd stop being afraid of getting spotted alone in public. I hope you know that you don't need the validation of others to realize your own worth. I hope in time you marry someone because you fell in love and not for your fear of dying alone. I hope you start loving yourself. I hope you seek comfort in solitude. I hope you do the best you can.

You don't have to seek for another person to give meaning to your life. I hope you're able to come to terms with that some day.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

"friends"

I know a lot of people, but I can probably count the number of true friends I have in school with a single hand. And I'm perfectly content with that.

I remember a time in secondary school when I drafted this long blog entry about friendship, I didn't have the guts to publish it for fear that my "friends" back then would read it and discover how I truly felt about them. Our friendship was so fake and superficial the thought of us ever spending time together again is absolutely stifling.

I am still thankful for that major lesson learnt though. Because after that painful experience, I learnt how to let go of toxic people in my life and I was made aware of how to differentiate between those who are genuine and those who are on-the-surface.

I still get questions regarding friendship problems..? And I'm always offering the same old advice: If you don't see them in your life 5 years down the road and if the maintenance of your friendship makes you tired as hell and does you more harm than good, then stay away. It's really simple. Unless you're stuck in the same school as them for 4 years and you'll have no choice but to see their faces for 5 days a week... then wait it out like me, you can stop contacting them and unfollow them all on social media after graduation. Just kidding, you'll find new friends. You'll make it.

p/s: About that old blog entry I drafted, I can't find it anymore. It might be in my old laptop, but it's probably really embarrassing and I don't think I'll ever let it see the light of day hahaha. 

Sunday, May 31, 2015

My life in squares: May



Might actually start doing this every month, but don't hold your breath.

In spite of the beginning of my 3-week "holidays", my life's been revolving around projects and assignments... what's new?  I'm strangely enjoying it though. Just thankful that I have the privilege of time being on my side, I can still read books written for middle-graders and watch an entire season of The Big Bang Theory.

On another note, twenty-one pilots is coming to Singapore and I'm freaking thrilled!! Not forgetting Passion Pit!! I know I'm going to be flat broke after all these concerts but I believe in spending money on experiences instead of things... sort of.

Anyway, we're already halfway through 2015, we can do this :- )

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

This one's untitled


Sometimes, without fault or reason, relationships stagnate. It will happen when you’re 6, it will happen when you’re 60. Life works in funny ways, we will all learn to accept that.

Sidenote: I just thought that was a nice painting... haha.

Friday, April 17, 2015

that's okay

i love how we look up at the stars on arbitrary occasions and we see them even though they're probably long dead. when another star dies tonight we'll still see it twinkling in the sky and feel less alone because we would be oblivious by it's non-existence and maybe that was what happened with us - we burned out and died a long time ago i just wasn't aware of it till tonight.